lensa di edinburgh

Jealous

yes, i am jealous with them!

they can go out serve to junior, attend a spiritual program, and spend their summer wisely.

to be honest if people choose me to be a facilitator for junior that will be my first time. I am afraid. whether I can do it or not. but up until now I don't have the the opportunity to do it especially when I have free time.

I saw them post the feedback and their experience from the program to Facebook wall or Blog.

It make me felt helpless and not valuable as a youth. did not contribute anything to the community.

yeah I am helpless and not important. just let them do it. they are better than me.

I AM JEALOUS NOW ... ok.

huhu =.=''

Bored : (

bored is what people usually said when they have a lot of free time.

especially during holiday.

a normal things to do are eat, sleep, watch tv or movie, play with laptop, chatting, and reading.

this is what usually happen when a person do not have aim what they want to achieve every day. therefore time past by... waste .... just like that.

it already nearly 2 weeks and 5 days i am back in Malaysia. i never been to another place yet .. beside than home, litter sister school, market, tesco, hospital,

and now I am feeling extremely bored. AaaaaRRGH!!!!

.

time to be Silent

starting from now..

I want to stay silent .. shuu ...

I wont start any more.. no more ok..

hurt and regret .. it my fault .. :(

I Should not do that anymoreeeee...

starting from tomorrow

I just need to keep myself busy..

let it be..

let it go..

trough like a wind passing by.. me..

I can do it!!!

Driver And car

mini cooper? nah... I just use mini manual kancil car.

i just got my permanent driving license last 2 days. to be honest I never driving about nearly 2 years and I need to start driving back starting from zero. I totally forgot how to drive.

but that ok.

I tried to learn driving every evening to market. trying to drive in a buzy road really a good challenge for me. I need to be able to drive safely in 2 days more. after that I being responsible to sent my little sister to school for a week by my own. no more being supervise by my father.

today i make a great success. It my first time my car engine dont not stop suddenly when driving, drive in about 3 hours and( imbang klas dan minyak untuk naik bukit) . alhamdulillah. I manage to do it today.

I have a short term dream ..I hope that in about two to three weeks more I want to be able to drive on the way to Kodiang, uncle house. ( 1 4/5 hours).highway ok!!

that all..

wheelchair

I just want to said I respect with persons who manage to used wheel chair by themselves.

I Had tried it by myself using my mom wheel chair.

do you know how hard to used it by ourselves?

first of all we don't use our legs to move but we use mainly our small finger to hold the wheel and our hand to make it move. even to turn right or left being really difficult to a normal person I cant imaging how the sick person handle it by themselves without people helping them.

moving forward? we need same energy and force at our both hand to move foward. this movement really tiring ...believe me ok.

how about if there is a door or a bit heel in front of them?

of course more force needed.

ok that my experience handling wheel chair by myself.

we need to be grateful when we still have chance to walk by ourselves.

thank you Allah .. for still lend me leg to walk properly.

^_^

XD

asthma vs COPD

skin anatomy

http://www.fpnotebook.com/der/exam/sknantmy.htm

Racism

situation..





two options to buy a second hand car.


silver car : one of the owner is a old british guy.


red car : one of the owner is a indian guy.





which car would you choose?


silver car.





why?


because british people usually take a good care of their things and usually they are honest especially when do or sell something , so when they tell about the car condition in the advertisement ... may be it will be more reliable. (sterotyping )








or





because usually indian people always lie? so dont trust them? (sterotyping .. if you had this experience it does not mean every indian like this)














hello people ...


this is racism...stop this action!


we cant just choose the silver car base on this judgement. discrimination





be professional...


collect first .. all the information about those car. investigate ... and analysed the data..


then make a choice.








who knows actually the best car would be the red one. ^_^

*reminder to myself*

how to be a Good doctors?

according to GMC guideline
" a good doctor

1. make their patients their first concern


2. they are competent


3. they keep up date their knowledge and skill.


4. establish and maintain good relationship with patient and colleagues.


5. honest and trustworthy


6. act with integrity "

i am in Mode of PPD revision.

a miracle happen.

today i had osce examination.

what happen? and how did i react?
i finish the cvs examination on time .. however after the question i forgot to bring my file to the next station. when the bell rang 3 times i enter the station. it was communication station. " examiner : where your file ? " oh no.. I RAN OUT TO THE PREVIOUS STATION" . i know that i dont have much time left . i need to take the patient medical history. subahanallah.. alhamdulillah.. Allahu Akbar. I can understand the patient... and remember it well.. even though I dont have more time to ask extra question. thank you for make my situation easy ..Oh Allah.


one more in BP station. I CAN't HEAR THE KOROFKOFF SOUND. and i cant get theBP reading.
should i lied that i get bp and say the no in the normal range eg the bp is 118/70 mmhg?
i can do that . but .. this time i am not..
ergh... i know that my mark will be deducted due to this condition.

why i cant lie? i always practise when taking bp i just said and write what i heard from the stetoscope. i alreasdy get used to that habit.

of course.. it because i will be a doctor one day. i dont want to lie about the my examination...

i realise it at the next station.. my stetoscope was switch off . i forgot to turn it on.. " clicking sound". ( patut la x dpt )! major mistake here... abisla.. ^_^


what did i learn?
dont blame other ( eg : blame exminer bcoz not give me back the folder")
realized my own mistake and admit it ( i am the one who forgot to take the file and i am the one who not check the stetoscope is open or not when taking bp.)
practise osce is good to help me to be more fluent . but during the osce dont just spill up the word. check carefully when examine the patient is there any abnormality.

for communication( headache and angina )
pick up non-berbal cue.. ( especially when the patient show paintfull faceh.. say to her . you look really in pain right now.( baru la patient tu berasa best kn? penat berlakon ...tunjuk muka sakit. tp dr ni perasan..wah ..kn best?)

what you will do if you face the same situation in future?
just be more aware about the file after each station. if that happen.. i need to check back the file before i move to the next station and before the bell start to ring again indicate.. start time.

i will check the stetoscope first before i apply it to the patient arm. make sure it open.


i still dont want lie just to get the mark ..if i did the procedure wrongly .. .because what ever happen .. patient must come first.




that all my reflection for today.. need to leave everything to ALLAH. i did my best.. and i am happy for it ..now the time to leave everything to Him.

my time for having lunch ..rest a bit.. and start back my study for my paper exam on tuesday and wednesday next week. 4 days left.

tata..

human embryology -module life cycle 1

question and ans for basic blood clot

http://www.biology-questions-and-answers.com/blood-questions.html

all about them.

it already near exam. tomorrow will be 24 may. 7 days left to study.

my friends will start their OSCE tomorrow while mine will be on 27 may.

who are they?

i know them nearly two years.

maybe next year i wont be able to see them anymore. .. these people that i love.

i hope Allah make things easier for them...

my 2nd year newcastle medical friends...

^_^

10 days b4 exam

mama.... ayah..

takot.... :'(

arini x bljr .badan ku letih..byk tido ja..dah cuba bca skit then tertido lg.....

maap ayah mama...

maap...

practise clinical examination

even though I already learn about chest examination, and abdominal examination last year but when i learn it this year , i just feel the same feeling. anxious, shy , afraid when i examine male patient. i am the one who have tachycardia , my hand shaking and cold. i even could not speak out word clear even i want to.

i need to overcome my fear toward male patient... in the future

so that i can focus when i am doing the examination.

pls: this is not discrimination toward male but it just happen to me and i need to adjust myself to be more serious and confident when I examine them.

thank you for my friends who willing to be my patient during practise session.

found a video which related to the title of this blog ^_^

Afraid of move up on a paint ball Field?

I supposed to watch this video before went to play paintball .. huhu... so that i know how to move forward safely. ( ^_^ being shot 3 times at right knee when trying to move forward)

I had my first experience playing paint ball last Saturday( 7/5/11 )with 14 of my batch friends and some locals.

Even though I got shot a lot ..remain about 13 swollen bruises on my body, the next day my whole body pain because of the muscle cramp and bruises . I can say this is an awesome experience..the best part for me is when you move forward.. and start to think your next step to win the game. think quick. a good practise to be a doctor I think. haha

I learned a lot of different aspect from my first time playing paint ball.

1. dont afraid to move up, move forward. The first 2 game I don't move at all from my hiding place and pretend to be on defend position ( actually afraid and dont know how to move up) and finally I being shot so easily and need to go out from the game. I think .. which part to you want to be .. stay on the same place and wait from being shoot or try to move up and may being shot . I think trying to move up is more safer.. I can try to avoid being shot by not stay on the same place and I can try to help my team to win. Thus start on the 3rd game I try to move forward .I enjoy this part really...

2. teamwork and strategy really important in this game. not just shoot from far or hiding back or over brave but being shot a lot. haha.

the best game that I experience is .. my team being an attacker and our aim is to take 3 oil tank which is near the defend team (enemy) and move it to out starting point.

at first I my it is quite impossible for us to play this. most in my team is a malaysian girl. just about the same height.. and dont think that we able to move up the tank without being shot...we think the tanks are too big and heavy. before this the opposite team also wont be able to move the tank when they be the attacker.

however we try it together. This time ...teamwork and strategy take place.

5 of us move forward on both side near to the tank (at centre) while the other back up at the back and move forward bit by bit following us.

we come out with an Crazy idea .. Kamikaze.. at the same time.

3 of us coming from both side...try to run forward to the tank while shotting.. trying to distract the opponent and at the same time cover another two .. while those two trying to move up the tank. Of Course those 3 girls being shot the most. But we manage to move the tank . success!!

2 tanks more to go.. even though being shot .. everyone seem to be very positive do their best ..

even tough we dont manage to bring those 3 .. to win the game .. but for us manage getting one tank ...is sooo great.. especially when doing it together.

the worst experience which when I be a defender team for the same type of the same game..(oil tank one)

there are 4 barrier for all in my team to hide and shot the attacker ..I am the one who in the nearest barrier to the tank( front) . At first I have an accompany but she totally disappeared.

I want to run to back barrier but I may get shot and being eliminated from the game. However, I try to stay and try to shoot who ever opponent that move forward or go nearer to the tank because that the best place to see the opponent and the chance to make them get shot more higher. ( I dont wear spec .. so uncomfortable..so I cant see far..) when I trying to shot at the opponent ... I dont realize one of the opponent side came nearer to me.. so NEAR about less than 15 feets I think ( unfortunately as just I realized the opponent, I being shot at my right side on my head.. the paint ball it hit my right ear and part below the ear.. I scream.. OUCHH!!.... HELP2.. I still being shot.., I raise my hand and just lie down.. sooo hurt. my eyes got wet a bit.. and nearly start to cry.. ( thankfully that I am not doing that) and I cant wake up.. the pain too strong on that TIME.I close my eyes tightly.. . the referee stop the game and my team run toward me. ( actually ... after the game ..I being told .. my team at the back soon as they realize the opponent they try to shot them but they miss it .) I am feel more scared when they want to open my scarf to check it. ( I dont want to open my scarf.. not in front guys!!!) ..i know my girls friends cover me up.. that time.. I still ..dont want to do that.. trying to bear the pain.. I wake up and stay at the safety zone... I realized the person that shoot me already leave the game area.. what remain is gun at the ground. of course .. that person do thing against 2 rules. move across the territory line and to the defend team barrier, and the second thing shoot a person less than 25 feets.

Alhamdulillah..Thankfully I was ok.. and just swollen at ear part, nothing serious happen.

I felt what happen to me is really paintfull..my heart keep saying Allah when I am in pain just after being shot that NEAR and I dont know what will happen to me on that time......

but realized what happen to me just small thing..I cant really imagine how my islamic brothers and sisters in palestin..mine just a game..but..for they ..is real..

May Allah protect them...

Now .. I still suffered with the bruise all part at my body.. my friend will be the same ..I think..hope it will heal fastly and I can be active back to study..

Paintball game for Girls? of course yes.....I really afraid of being shot and to move forward but it does not mean that I can't play.

Got an EXAM .. less than A month..

I need to move forward... . like in the game too..

do I want to make an my best Effort to move forward ( study and etc) ..and wait for the result( being shot or win the game.= fail or pass the exam)?

or just remain at my place , stay there without doing anything ( not study) and wait for the result ?

I want to choose the first part..

I need to do my best about what I can do.. my Efforts...

and then tawakkal..

leave the result to Allah..

ok now.. FOCUS.. ON YOUR EFFORT.. 22 days left.

^_^ caiyok !!

Tulipin – Keukenhof garden

Tulipin – Keukenhof garden

 
 

Main entrance

 
 

 
 

A story of tulip based on my observation

 
 

In just one day thousands of people come to this famous garden in Netherland to enjoy the beautiful scenery with many types of tulips. And of course these thousands of people came with camera ^_^ including me.

In these garden, visitors cannot step on the grass. Thus, most of people can take a picture from the same view. Looks the that guy taking picture of the tulips.

I bet he might be taking a picture of the first row tulips. Well that happen to me too. Take picture of the nearest tulip will make my job easy and as a result I can take a beautiful and clear picture (zoom out 4x) of tulips. This is one of the pictures that I take.

Subahanallah , it really beautiful. ^_^

 
 

 
 

Ok i continue with my story

2 main characters in this story which is

• Tulips in the first row based on the guy view : nickname as 'Miss Front '
  
• Tulip in the middle based on the guy view: nickname as ' Miss Back '
  

The interesting info about tulip is they grow with the mostly the same height. If look from far like a carpet of tulips.

Tulips	My observation		My interpretation
Miss Front	A lot of people taking her picture People enjoy appreciating the beauty of the miss front. They can see, touch, and smell it. Can be damage by the visitor ( they step on it, pluck it, and take a way one petal of the flower etc)		Miss front Famous Beautiful Outstanding and friendly with people.
Miss back	People enjoy appreciating the beauty of miss back too. they can look, smell, and take a picture But from far. (extra gadget like big lens to help visitor to take a good picture of her) Less change to be damage as she keep distance from the visitor.		Miss back Beautiful Not so famous ( less people taking her picture personally)

 
 

However this what can happen with ' miss front '

 
 

Why I tell you about miss front and miss back?

I realize when we talk about girl and flower they blend up together nicely. "Girl is like a flower, beautiful". Do you agree?

The point I want to say is, how you define special? Both miss front and miss back are beautiful but which one is special?

 
 

When a lot of visitors take a picture of the tulips (including me) the probability for us taking the same flower is high. (Which is the front row) compare to (back row). If a lot of the visitors taking the of picture miss front, miss front will be famous yes right, but will she be special? (Personally I think the picture that I take mainly just the same as other common visitors. Even I just can Google it to get it. Thus I don't feel the miss front special to me. This is just my opinion. I not sure how about you.

Ok.. back to reality

 
 

Nowdays, girls always conscious about themselves. Girls like Miss front always have the opportunity to meet up people.. talk with them , chat ..etc.. and boy can like them ..they can have boyfriend!!.while a Girls like miss back so low profile, ... don't really talk to people thus..nobody will acknowledge the present of her.

Are frustrated...Thus they try to be miss front..

Stop miss back..don't do that!!

 
 

Not worry " miss back": about I am not famous... , nobody know me..

Just remember that you are more special.

 
 

"Seluruh dunia ini adalah perhiasan dan perhiasan terbaik di dunia ini adalah wanita yang sholehah." (HR. an-Nasa'I dan Ahmad)

I don't know you understand about this post or not. Well feel free to comment ok.. hope you enjoy read it .

 
 

 
 

Miss front

 
 

Miss back

 
 

Pasted from <file:///C:\Users\user\Pictures\amsterdam%2026-27.4.11%20keukenkhof%20garden\Tulipin.docx>

 
 

Responsibility?

Maria: she was no 6 out of 8 siblings.

As Maria grow up, she never have chance to take care of her little sister and brother as her older sisters who the one that take a look of them, helping their mom.

in secondary school she enter a boarding school. since that time she lives far from family up until university.

she felt that she do not responsible for anything that happen in the house.

Maria already reach 20 years old.

One day, Maria heard a talk about responsibility..

in the talk said as people grow up their responsibility increase by time.

she try to make a list of her responsibility.

priority

1. study

2. do what Allah asked and avoid what Allah dislike.

3. ....

is that all?

Cobalamin sad love story

cobalamin grow and stay with her parent Protien. she left her parent when she study at school of stomach. she started to date cool heptocorrin(her childhood friend) who unfortunately died right after they got engaged. she felt lonely ..luckily she met her true love IF ( heptocorrin school friend). they got married and found beautiful house in lovely city of terminal illuem. one day they was thrilled to learn cobalamin pregnant . they want to call their baby transcobalamin II. how ever their happiness dont last long.. a monster called lysosome attack their house. IF afraid his family will getting hurt. so, he said " go cobalamin...safe yourself and ourbaby first .. i shall follow you later" cobalamin run from the back of the door and disappeared into Blood vesssel.. IF win..he try to find back his wife. .. everywhere..when in their memoric place .. stomach school. but he never find her wife again... the end ops... not yet.. he met one girl look the same like his wife.and they get married after that. guess what will happen next? ^_^ the same thing happen but this time.... he dont win.. and he died ( degraded) .. his second wife runs to the back door too .. and this the end.

nemonic for today

1. Mr Creb help 3 Newcastle student, to make 1 Founde using 2 Chocolate and 1 Granule of sugar.

2. 2 people going to date, they eat 5 course meal and 7 pint of beer, which cost 19 pd, but they only had 9 pd, so they had to used the washing to pay to the remaining 10pd.

friend like stranger and stranger like a friend

have you experience this?

contact with your friends via internet or hp

but when you meet.. it like a stranger, like you do not to know each other.

how about this?

you don't know this people...you never contact them

but when you meet you can talk like a best friend.

I experienced this a lot..

especially when I am here in Newcastle.

when I think it back... I just laugh.. like this :D

diabetic ketoacidosis song

the pitch and the music were bad. =.= ''

Angel

I want to be like an angel

when I open my eyes till I fall sleep

because the angel is beautiful

at any time..

Wind

one like a wind, come pass by me sometime comforting me, and i am happy with it sometime make me cold and sick, then the wind blow to other way left me behind. ^_^ T_T

confident..

say this together ..

I believe that I am great.

There is something magnificent about me.

I believe that I am strong.

I believe in myself

THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CANNOT DO.

Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib seseorang melainkan dia mengubah nasib nya sendiri

lets of the war begin.. me vs myself

aim

starting today

1. writing and speaking English class by my own-self ( Consistent please!!!)

2. wring and edit assignment.

3. review thing that I learned today.

bismillah..

lonely?

now

I usually like to hear this song.. perhaps feeling lonely? haha...

Erm... is right that something that I always heard indicate what my heart feel?

Nah... not really..

I believe He always with me ... every second in my life ...every time I take a breath.

He always be with me.

Allahu Mai = Allah bersertaku

Allahu Syahidi= Allah menyaksikan ku

Allahu Nazirun Ilayya = Allah melihat akan daku

keep remind it..in mind....

Wasting time

wow... really hot topic..

In a day there are 24 hours .. and it is the same to everyone in this world.

now the exam is around the corner. for the 1st year the 2nd exam is coming..for the 2nd year the 1st exam is coming.5 days left.

when the exam coming.. everyone seems to be busy.

me? busy wasting my time..

9 hours and 30 minutes today wasting time watching Korean drama.

I am such an idiot... *angry with myself*

well regret about what happen is great. but it not just about feeling down

it about desire

desire to learn from mistake ... strong determinant not to repeat it.

however if I keep doing it.. useless..

after a short chatting .. with my friend called pearl

suddenly ... i seem to be understand..about time..

and i remember one surah in Al-quran..

Bismillahirahmanirrahim

1. Demi masa

2. sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam KERUGIAN

3. kecuali orang-orang y perpesan kepada kebenaran.

4. dan orang-orang y perpesan kepada kesabaran.

erm...today it seems that most of my time...already being waste.

not just because watching drama..

but when do other things..

i am not good in words

but what i can say is..word EMPTY

if i am not doing like the people as above surah. (ayat 3 dan 4)

now..

my Priority is to STUDY..

it never to late ...

I am now focus in my study

(telling myself)

sound really awkward.. really antagonist than what I am doing before ..erm

I dont care..

I want to say this..bravely to make my heart stay awake...

ok...3...2 ...1

stop wasting time...

time to study

you can do it!!!

latte vs cappucino

Question one

1. give me 4 factor that damage of mucosa layer in stomach

a) erm.. HCL

b) H.pYlori

c) Drug : NSAID eg :aspirin

one more....erm... cannot remember..sorry..

ok key word..

type of drink..

i need to take this matter seriously but you not

d) alcohol!!

yeah you right.

just wondering... as I learn more..in medicine..

more bad effect of alcohol that I learn..

he also know about it..we learn about it..

but why he still cannot stop drinking it?

I hope he will one day..not just him..but my other friends too.

insyallah..

New year 2011 ....

" my beloved one.. everyone need to asked themselves a questions."

we need to ask everyday and night

1. how many night are we awake in activity? was this staying awake ( and what you did ) pleasing to Allah?

2. how many hours are passed in this way?

3. how many hours we have laughed in this life? was Allah pleased with this laughter?

4. how many time we spend for entertainment and enjoyment in this life? was this enjoyment was the one Allah pleased with.?

new year 2011..

let it be more better for than the last year..

just an advise...especially to myself..